The Natural Habitats of Brittus Canadensis. Part un.

I see that Matt is kicking our collective virtual butts so I thought I'd better post something. As I have mentioned before, I sometimes find it fruitful to think of my wife as some sort of wild beast and, in fact, she shares many traits with wild beasts. Along with excessive consumption of nearly raw red meat, one trait in she shares is a natural inclination to loiter about in certain locales conducting whatever business she gets up to. I thought I would try to capture images of her in her natural habitat and discuss them so that Chris, Keiko and Katie, who have never had a chance to spend much time with her, can get a better image. So.
1) The Den.* You may have to peer closely at this picture but if you focus your efforts you'll be rewarded by a rare glimpse of Britt sleeping in her den. This is Britt's favorite habitat. Here she recharges for day of prowling, wanton slaughter and blatant use of French. Though the scene may look peaceful and calm, you are almost certainly in mortal peril if you are actually in this room. Much like Ursus Horribilis Britt can be vicious and foul-tempered if woken suddenly. Even under the best of circumstances, the morning temper that best describe Britt is "sullen and in dire need of silence and coffee". Not unlike Dad, really. Once actually asleep however, and if treated with care, Britt can be a surprisingly warm creature. She instinctively moves toward warmth, however plump and hairy it may be, and will engage what I like to call "The Anaconda" approach to sharing the bed. This will last until a requisite degree of bed warmth has been attained whereupon she will cast off the source of warmth, leap high into the air and rotate on her axis, coming down face first to spend the rest of her sleep in a face down position commonly found in day care centers.
2) The Couch.** This is perhaps Britt's second favorite place to habitate. Here engage in most of her end of the day activities. These can range from watching movies, to reading, to gazing adoringly at her dashingly handsome and multitalented husband as he prepares food on a level normally only found in the palaces of the oldest royal families. Here we see her reading some books in preparation for class. Note the distracted gnawing at the writing implement. Even when relaxed and fully awake, B. Canadensis radiates an air of casual violence. One shudders at the fate she has in store for her "students". Note the fluffy pig under her book. This is actually a hot water bottle that Britt clings to as if were a life raft. Courtesy of Matt and Keiko.
Of the other two habitats, one should be fairly easy to enter and photograph. This is the office, where B. Canadensis engages in much of her professional activity. The other, The Salon, is far more difficult to gain entry to. Capturing an image of Britt while in the Salon proper can invoke consequences even more dire than those of the Den images. I'll do my best.

* Special thanks goes out to the photographer. Literally seconds after the shutter sounded, B. Canadensis sprang from the covers, mauled the unfortunate boy and then dove back into the safety of the bed and began loudly demanding coffee. The intrepid photographer is in the critical conditions at St. Mary's. Considering the way things turned out, I wish he'd gone ahead and thrown caution to the wind and use the flash.
** This photographer survived. However it was implied that perhaps he was having a bit too much fun with the digital camera and would soon have it taken away.